You said you were gonna call back.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Now you msg to say you're gonna slp.

I'd like to think that you were just busy at home and now you're tired and wish to rest.

Love.

Disappointing.

Disappointed.

Love.

if we had went ahead with today's plan to go vivo,
i had wanted to watch a movie with you.
i have long wanted to watch a movie with you.
like a real movie, at the cinema.

Love.

I thought you had promised.

But you still left me on my own.

And i went to slp with a heavy mind.

Resulting in a dream, that i wish i never had.


Love.

i dont know whats happening.
there are many things i swear you didnt tell me about.
but you always say you did.
i dont want to probe and ask further.
afraid that it might upset you.
but at the end of the day,
you still get mad at me the same.

i havent forgotten what i promised you.
that i will be stronger.
for us.
and stronger i will be.
but please dont penalize me now.
for i am crying so badly.
for the hurt that im feeling.

i know that night that we talked about this.
you told me i would be hurt time and time again.
because you dont have the time to entertain me like how other bf entertain their gf.
i know, i know.
but i stil chose to continue this journey together with you.
for that one simple reason; i love you.

no one said you cant be angry.
but pls do so for the right reasons.
and if i find that ive been misunderstood.
please dont deny me the chance to explain things to you.

i hate it when we quarrel.
i hate it even so when we quarrel for the wrong reasons.

why must couples fight and quarrel?
Why?
Why cant couples just live happily together?
without any quarrel at all?
Because quarreling with the one you love sucks.
It hurts so bad that it makes me wanna just stop everything im doing,
go to you, and hug you.

but then again, im the last person you wanna see when we quarrel.

to you, please feel better soon.
im sorry that i dont have the means to help you settle your problem.
im sorry that i make you feel like shit always.
im sorry that i tire you out, and drain all your energy.
awak, i love you.

Love.

The stomach hurts.
i want to go home.

='(

Love.

You could have said,
'but i like to eat the cheesecake you make.'
That would definitely make my day.
But you didnt.
But its ok. Im gonna be fine.
Soon.

Love.

im sorry.
i lied when you asked if im ok.
coz im not.
i feel like shit.
i feel terrible.
i feel so useless.
for being someone close to you.
but yet not able to help you when you need it the most.

Love.

if we stil matter to you,
these are the reasons for the tears that i couldnt hold back:

it doesnt matter that i made plans with you first. Fine. it was more practical to leave the car over the weekend at the service centre. i understand. but why didnt you discuss with me first? why didnt you tel me you had to take the cake for your friend? oh it was last minute, i see. but was it my fault that my car took more than half a day to service? i told you 2 days ago to help me go down to settle my car things for me. but no, you obviously had other last minute plans to disrupt whatever that was planned earlier. fine. lot 1 was near your place. but why didnt you scold your friend for ordering the cake last minute???? why was i the one being scolded that my car took more than half a day to be serviced?? i didnt ask for your help just now at 4pm. in case you forgotten, i told you 2 days ago. so which part of 2 days ago is last minute???? why does it seem that my things does not matter at all to you????????????????? if i was the one helping others to collect stuff last minute which will disrupt our plan, im pretty sure you'd be very unhappy with me to the extend that you wouldnt even want to meet up with me anymore. oh wait....yes that did happen before.
Why cant i use my own car on sunday?? why cant i send back my car for servicing on sun night? why???? oh...because you wouldnt want to accompany me again to the place coz its gonna be troublesome. yes. i know. im troublesome much. sorry for all the trouble you had to go through because of me. i wonder why it wasnt troublesome when other ppl conveniently last minute asked for your favour and you gladly agreed at the expense of me.
all those scoldings i got over the phone was worth it to you? all because you had to collect the cake for your friend at the last minute??
im not comparing who is more important here whether me or your friend(s), but the fact that i made plans with you first, shouldnt you at least have the courtesy to let me know first?? that you are gonna collect the cake??fine it was last minute of your friend, then you should have told me as soon as you found out you needed to collect it! you see...this is what happen when two ppl dont communicate. i think you should know that you dont tell me much things. and i dont know much about whats going on on your side. and when i make plans that wouldnt suit you, it'l be my fault.
and now youre gonna say you always have to satisfy my emotional needs. and youre sick and tired. its so sad everytime i hear you say that coz it seems like to you, this rship is not worth fighting for. is it?
i miss you. i miss the times we had. i miss the dates we had. i really would love to hear you ask me out on a date again. i understand im not your only worry. youve got loads of more important things to take care of. honestly, i really would like to feel that im important in your life. im sorry coz i havent felt that for quite some time now. and im sorry i havent been able to trust you. im sorry that because of that, we end up quarreling more than usual. i just need alot of assurance from you. lots of it. i need assurance more than other girls do. but dont for that reason you say we cant work out. dont for that reason you say you want to give us up.
i dont think you know how much ive held back. for fear that you would get upset with me everytime i talk to you about whatever that's making me upset. and everytime i cant take it any longer, i'd just tell you abt it, but that would for sure lead to a big fight all the time.
why cant i cry to you? why cant i tell you my feelings no matter how ridiculous it might sound? why do i feel that youre so distant?
do you know that telling me you love me means alot to me? doesnt matter if you say it all the time. i wont get tired of hearing it. Never. you'd say it wont be special anymore if you were to say it all the time. but i think otherwise.
i miss you. i miss you. i miss you terribly.
dont get upset that im writing this here.
these are the things that i know would upset you very much if i were to talk to you about it.

hey you, i love you. very much.
i dont care what obstacles we need to go through as long as we go through it together.
No exit clause, right?

Love.

P.s: will you travel from your place to mine just to wipe my tears away?

if i were to cry in front of you again,
will i be judged?
will you scold me again?
will you walk away?
or will you just hug me tight and say everything's gonna be alright?

if i were to hold your hand tight,
will you push my hand away?
will you be obliged to hold back?
or will you take my hand, kiss it and tell me you love me?

we can either give up, give in or give it our all to make this work.
im giving my all. how about you?

Love.